28/03/18-Wedding night palaver 1

             WEDDING NIGHT PALAVER

     It was the day after their wedding day and Timi, her newly wed husband had gone out to “tidy a few things up” so she was alone, which was good at this moment because she was scared. She couldn’t give a logical explanation as to why she was afraid. She hadn’t even told anyone of this fear she had harboured for so long.
     She and Timi had known each other by accident; as a result of a weird text sent to the wrong number. He had wanted to send the text to his other number as a reminder for something he had to do. The reason he decided to do this instead of creating a reminder is the one thing he could never explain. So she got the text and replied and that’s when he realized his mistake but it was too late, that was already the beginning of their journey together. A few conversations later and they decided to meet. Timi always described it as love at first sight while she always laughed and said it was the way he talked and the things he said. Her friends thought their relationship was an epic modern love story and some even started to ‘shoot their shots’ by either intentionally calling or texting wrong numbers. Their relationship was truly epic; they had the best times together, talking about everything and anything, laughing till they cried, they were even meme partners- what beats that?

Two years after they met, Timi went down on one knee while they were shopping at the mall, she couldn’t explain what happened next but Timi said she gasped and ran to a nearby pillar before screaming “Yes, Yes, I want to do it!!!”. She was already friends with his family and her family was in love with him and so everything went easy. The wedding party was a success; it was the most beautiful thing that had happened to her yet. The most wonderful part was the exchange of vows for when Timi said his vows, she cried till her mascara ran and when the priest permitted him to kiss the bride, he leaned and whispered in his beautiful voice, “You even weep like an angel” and he kissed the bride.

      Now she was here, in this beautiful hotel suite he had chosen at the Federal Palace Hotel. He seemed very excited about their life together and he was the one making all the arrangements, she was excited too but she dreaded the night. She couldn’t contain it anymore, her anxiety was growing by the moment, it was almost the size of a truck, she could feel it on her shoulders, she was uncomfortable and her heart was beating abnormally. She decided to call her best friend, she had to say something, tell somebody or she would explode. 8 missed calls later and she gave up, so she slept. She woke up with a start as Timi was coming in, how many hours had she slept? It was almost getting dark and she was to have dinner with him at that fancy restaurant. She raced into the bathroom before he could get there and made sure to bolt the door. She needed time to think. He called out to her to ask how the day went and all she said was “It was fine; I’ll be ready in 30 minutes”. He had known she wouldn’t be ready, WOMEN. He had already made all the preparations but he wanted it to be perfect so, he decided to go back to the lobby and make final confirmatory calls. True to her word and quite unlike her kind, she was ready just in time and when she came out, it looked like he was seeing her for the very first time. She looked just the way she did in his dreams. And that dress, oh that dress, May the good Lord bless the hands that made that dress.

In her mind though, she was at the verge of tears. Why this dress? Of all the dresses in the world, it had to be this particular red dress. It stuck on her like a second skin and the back was cut so damn low but she had nothing else suitable for the occasion. Her best friend had packed the bag and even picked the underwear, she looked like an “all you can eat” menu but strangely, the dress was really comfortable. What made her uncomfortable was the way he was looking at her. He smiled and she reminded herself that he was her husband. They locked hands and stepped into the elevator.
Trust Timi to be the perfectionist, Master planner, everything was perfect. It was like a TV show on the beautiful, rich and famous. He was the perfect gentleman all the way, as always and when they sat down at the table at the reserved section, he said his first words since she stepped out the door, “I am most definitely the luckiest man alive at this moment.”  She smiled and replied, “I’ll take that as a ‘you look beautiful tonight AS ALWAYS, Darling’.” And with that they laughed and settled to eat. Few servings later with a couple refills of Moet & Chamdor and she already felt warm inside. They had talked and laughed through the meal and now she felt less tense. She didn’t even feel tense at all. Maybe I was just being paranoid, it can’t be that bad now, can it?
 It was time for them to leave, he smiled as he put out his hand and said, “Are you ready my lady?”
Yes, she was ready and she answered with a smile as she put her hand in his.
They were back in the hotel suite and the living room looked normal, that seemed like a good sign to her. He said he wanted to use the restroom so he went to the room immediately while she decided to take her heels off and hop into bed before anything could happen. She took off her louboutins; the same one she wore on her big day and trudged into the room. Once she walked in, she realized she had played herself. The lights were blue, dim, sensual. The bed and floor were decorated with rose petals and what was that? Were those daisies? Where did one get daisies from in Nigeria? It was truly beautiful with the scented candles by the bedside and before she could even begin to think, she felt him hug her from behind. The wine had really helped because she had imagined this would be the very moment she would either have a seizure or a heart attack instead she felt really good inside and out with a warmth flowing through her body and when he placed his chin on her neck and whispered something she couldn’t decipher; a shiver ran down her spine. When next she opened her eyes, they were facing the full length mirror and she was floating on clouds over oceans and seas and it all felt like magic. Every sense she possessed was heightened, she could smell the roses, daisies and candles individually but most of all she could smell him, how could someone smell so good? He smelt like vanilla, like cake. She felt him gently lower her onto the bed. It was so soft, so smooth, was it silk? She wanted to look and see for herself… and that was when she panicked. He towered over looking like those Greek statues she had seen in the videos, he looked larger than life, unreal. When he began to come down to her, she took in a deep breath.

“Timi, wait.” No response, he didn’t hear her. He was doing something on her belly she didn’t quite understand. She had to speak a little bit louder.

“Timi, please wait.” He definitely heard that. Was he pretending not to hear her. She tried pushing him away but he locked her hands. Now she was going crazy. She started kicking.
He looked up at her with the most puzzled expression she had ever seen. This was the moment she waited for. She pushed him with all she had in her and SHE BOLTED.


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